I am out to my friends. I’ve had amazing friends who’ve stood by me on my journey of getting used to myself… Getting past the denials, locking myself up to cry on the shadows so no soul besides mine would hear. I had an amazing group of friends that have stood by me every step of the way. It feels good being out. I like it. No weight holding me down. My health is stable. Only one hospital stay in the last four months!
I started dating. For the first time. David, saw him twice he wasn’t right and… I couldn’t stand him blowing smoke in my face. Roy and Austin were too focused on hooking up over taking a chance at a long term relationship. I don’t want to screw around. I want to settle down. Fall in love. Be hopeful. Find that partner, a partner in crime. One day have kids. Heck… Marriage may seem archaic but I want it, even if it’s simple. I want a wedding ring on my finger to show off to the world in taken. I dream of this. To have someone there. Always there. Just there for you. Someone that will become your true partner after we learn one another over the years.
A few days ago, I was contacted by a guy named Scott. He was sweet. He has a gentle nature. I think he’s adorable and such a strong person. I like him thus far and I’m getting far too optimistic. But talking to him feels right. He seems to connect to me on some level. I’m at a loss of words around him. He’s genuine… I want that boy. Dammit.
Here’s to the future and hope. I never thought I would one day have a serious boyfriend because I would never find the right person. I think I found the first real contender. I’m so worried I’d screw things up.
Nick. < my real name.